If It Kills Me (Foster the People Fanfic)
by jamieesantiago
Summary: Mark made one the "biggest mistakes" of his life 3 years ago. He will live the consequences forever whether he likes to or not. Will jealousy tear this band apart of will Mark learn to own up?
1. Walk of Shame

"_**Just look at me now before I walk away,**_

_**you just might miss me, miss me one day**_

_**Yeah, yeah, yeah."**_

The loud instrumental blasted through the speakers of the open field. Ponci was feeling the moment, his head banging to and fro as he slammed his drumsticks on each drum. Cubbie was by the wings of the stage, asking the stage manager to raise the volume for his instrument. Mark was at the center, throwing his feet up and down as murdered the keyboard.

As the song ended, Cubbie's head shot up to see the most familiar face he had seen in a long time. She was walking towards the stage, wearing a white muscle tee with the words **YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US. **Her zebra leggings wrapped around her legs and her Ray-Ban Aviators stuck to her face. She tied her hair up, making them all see every inch of her face.

He left his bass and jumped off the stage. She turned the other way and pretended to run but he caught up with her. He brought her in for the biggest and tightest hug he's given this whole tour. He could smell the scent of her hair on him while she smelled the scent of his sweat.

"**Cubs, you're gonna kill me."**

"**Right, sorry."**

Cubbie pulled away with a huge smile on his face. He held her arm tight enough for her to know he had missed her but loose enough to show no harm.

The rest of the band left the stage to greet her. They all gave her the usual 'I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever' hug. Ponci, being the last one who hugged her, stepped aside.

"**Hi Mark."**

"**Hi Nat."**

The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds and looked away. Cubbie hissed and looked back at Nat.

"**So you're staying for the show, right?"**

Nat gave him an awkward smile - awkward for him enough to know the answer.

"**I have dance later, Cubs... You know about-"**

Mark scoffed, his body turned sideway and his arms folded. He and Nat were never really fond of each other, even before Foster the People was born.

"**Since when did she ever stay long enough to see our shows?"**

Nat glared.

"**No one asked for your opinion. You're not Cubs."**

Cubbie stood in the middle of the two of them and spread his arms.

"**Cut it out guys, we're not children anymore." **he sighed. **"I thought we were over this phase." **he mumbled.

"**I thought so too," **she replied. **"Mark **_**obviously **_**doesn't know the meaning of growing some balls."**

He snapped, **"For your information, I do have balls. You would know, **_**since they got you pregnant 3 years ago!**_**"**

Heads turned toward Mark. He needed a moment to realize what he just said, and his body stiffened with shame. He didn't know what move to make next; he was afraid that the whatever action he was going to do next would make the situation an even bigger problem.

Nat looked at her flats, nervously thinking of how to reply to that. In the end, however, she had no choice.

"**She's with the nanny," **she murmured. **"I'll go get her." **and she turned around and left for their child.

Cubbie looked over at Mark and slapped the back of his head as hard as he could - so hard that he almost wished it gave Mark a bit of a concussion.

"**She's still my best friend. I don't care if you have blood because of Ezra - you respect her." **he almost threatened.

Mark sighed and his eyes met Cubbie's. **"Dude, it was an accident. I know what I said was foul and-"**

"**Foul?"** Cubbie cut him off. **"That was not foul. That was down right dirty."**

"**I realize that."** Mark shook his head. **"Look, I'll talk to her later while we spend time together with Ezra, alright?"**

Cubbie put his arm around his bandmate. **"I miss our high school days - you, Nat and I. **_**Tres amigos.**_**" **He nodded, **"Nat misses you."**

Mark laughed sarcastically. "**How would you know?"**

Cubbie laughed along and shook his head at him. **"Mark, I've been her best friend for more than 12 years." **he smiled. **"Trust me on this."**


	2. Keep Calm and Carry On

Nat walked off the grass and on to the road where her car was parked. The nanny stood there, holding baby Ezra. Ezra had Mark's sort of squinty blue eyes and skinny nose. She got her small ears and thin lips from her mother. Her hair was a mix of Nat's dirty blonde and Mark's brown hair. She was a beautiful baby girl, no doubt, but she was almost the spitting image of Mark and it made Nat sick sometimes.

"**Well, where is he?" **Surya, the nanny, asked.

Nat picked Ezra off Surya's arms and sighed. **"Inside, rehearsing. Time to bring little Ez in."**

"**Mommy, where's daddy?" **she asked.

Nat kissed her forehead, **"Inside baby, and he's so excited to see you."**

Ezra squealed with joy, her little hands clapping. **"I missed daddy. Didn't you, mommy?"**

She giggled, **"I sure did baby girl." **she replied and walked back towards the stage.

"_**I'll help you see it through, cause I ju-"**_

"**Daddy!" **Ezra yelled at the top of her lungs the moment she saw Mark. She practically jumped off Nat's arms and started running towards the stage.

Mark ditched the keyboard and sprinted towards his daughter. He picked her up and hugged her tightly, tears of joy almost filling his eyes. He felt like Ezra was his only stress reliever - during times of hardships, he would call Nat to be on the phone with Ezra. He would feel like all the pressure of touring, writing an album and being a band in general were off his shoulders.

"**I missed you so much, baby girl. Daddy is so happy you're here." **He kissed her forehead and looked at his precious.

Ez kissed his cheek, **"I missed you too daddy!"** She leaned over and whispered, **"Mommy missed you more. She told me earlier!"**

They both giggled as Nat came over. **"What's with the giggling?"** she asked.

"**Oh you know, little Ez just told me a secret about you." **Mark replied as he and Ezra giggled again.

Nat leaned over at Ez, **"What is this secret, Ez?" **she asked with a smile.

"**It's not a secret for nothing, Nat."** Mark answered with a smile.

Nat slapped his arm lightly, **"I was asking our daughter." **she said, her dimples forming.

Ezra looked up at the both of them, **"Daddy's right, mommy! It can't be a secret if I tell you!" **

Nat laughed, **"You win this round, Foster!"**

He snickered, **"Don't I always?" **he replied as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

Ezra looked at the both of them and saw the tension in their bodies. However, she could see in both their eyes that they've missed each other. Nat and Mark smiled at each other, both turning red.

The boys left the stage and walked to the family. They found little Ezra really cute, and they all wished that she would be the one to bring Mark and Nat back together again. They picked Ezra from them and walked off, giving the two time to talk.

"**So are you staying for the show?" **he asked.

She sighed, **"I guess so. I'm sure Ezra would want to see you guys perform."**

"**Are you sure it's only Ezra who wants to see me?" **he joked with a wink.

Nat giggled shyly, **"Don't start on me, Foster."** She hated how easily he could make her melt even after what went down between them earlier.

Mark grinned at the thought of her laughing because of him. His grin faded as he spoke, **"Nat, about earlier-"**

"**It's nothing, Mark. Let's forget about it."**

He sighed. **"I don't want to forget about it. It was foul and I really shouldn't have." **He looked at the grass in guilt, **"I'm really sorry, Nat. Really."**

She smiled, **"It's alright, Mark." **and a put a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up with the look of relief washed over his face. He opened his mouth, then _RING RING! _went his phone. He picked it out of his pocket and looked at the screen.

"**It's Jas."** he said. **"Just... give me a minute." **and he walked off to answer his phone call.

Cubbie went to Nat, who was now alone. **"Well?"**

"**He apologized, and now he's on the phone with Jas." **she replied.

He shook his head, **"I swear, there is something really fishy with Jas."**

Nat shot him a look. **"You're only saying that cause I'm your best friend."**

"**No, I swear! No bias Nat, but I just have the worst feeling she's screwing Mark around." **he said.

She shook her head and the two of them observed Mark's action. He looked like he was under stress. After a minute or so, he dropped his phone and plopped on the grass. He hugged his knees with his fingers pulling on his hair. Everyone ran over to him in panic, wondering what it could be.

Ezra was passed on to Mark and he hugged her like there was no tomorrow. Nat bent over next to him and put an arm around him. He held her hand and started sobbing.

"**Daddy, what's wrong? Stop crying daddy... daddy..."**

"**Ez, promise you won't leave me. Promise me you and mommy won't leave me." **he muffled, his grip tightening on Nat's hand.


End file.
